Welcome to the Rich and Crazy
by SkellingtonZero
Summary: Gaara's been stuck in a rut until his sneaky older sister sets him up with a job down at the Yacht club. Then things start to get intresting and not in the way she likes. First it's Sakura, then the bosses brother takes an intrest in him and suddenly he's leaving the country to pursue a career in crime. Oh yeah, that's exactly the life Temari envisioned for him. -L mild language,
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to the respected owner. No copyright infringement intended.

Beta: Kaya Kazaki

Welcome to the Rich and Crazy

Chapter 1

"Gaara I'm sorry but your twenty four years old." Temari my older sister apologized for the fifth time. "You need to get your life in order."

"So you're kicking me out." I muttered.

"Yes." She affirmed and handed me a manila envelope. "We've set you up in an apartment near the marina. First two months rent has already been paid and we've found you a job on the yacht club." She pulled me into a hug and kiss on the cheek. "This is for your own good Gaara, you need to learn to…well live on your own and not just sit around the house sulking all the time."

"Yeah, trust us." Kankurou, my older brother gave me half a hug then clapped me on the back. "But we aren't that cruel, we're still going to pay for your cell phone bill so…" He shrugged and walked backwards into the house alongside Temari.

"Better get a move on, it's going to rain soon." Temari sent me an air kiss before shutting the door, and probably locking it. With the deadbolt.

I sighed and turned around to stare at my second-maybe even third hand – silver Acura that's so ugly and scratched it's not even worth describing, filled to the brim with boxes of clothes, shoes, and basically all of my shit that I certainly didn't pack. But if it's one thing I can say about Temari it's that she's thorough so there's no doubt that every last one of my things, down to my boxers, are packed away in my car somewhere.

I suppose I should probably explain what's going on; my name is Gaara Sabaku and my brother and sister just kicked me out. Yes, I'm twenty fours years old and I've never lived on my own, never held a job longer than two weeks and never really cared to do much with my life. And why should I when all these years they've done everything for me? Now suddenly they want me to 'man up' and 'get a life'?

Something's changed, and I don't like it.

**OOO**

Temari and Kankurou set me up in a small one bedroom apartment with a kitchen, living room and bathroom. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't fantastic either; there wasn't much room in fact I think my old bedroom was bigger than this entire apartment. With a groan I threw down the first set of boxes and left to bring up the rest, better get it all inside before it starts to rain.

**OOO**

Sleeping was not enjoyable that night, I tossed, turned, cursed, counted sheep-which doesn't work you liars-and eventually dozed off sometime in the morning only to wake up a few hours later to that damn alarm shouting at me. Grudgingly I crawled out of bed, into the shower and was dressed and fed by four am.

Luckily I didn't have to drive to work-otherwise some poor sucker would have been run over-the club was minutes from my apartment but the length of time it took to find the stupid entrance made me late. So there I stood, ten minutes late in an office staring at a young man dressed in an expensive looking suit who looked none too happy at my appearance. "You're late." He stated tonelessly.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"Who are you?"

"Gaara Sabaku." Something about him screamed 'snake', like he was a viper in the bushes. But who am I to judge? I'm a pale, skinny red head with dark ass circles under my eyes with muscles that don't belong. I look like I've been sitting in a back room locked away all my life with nothing but a chair and one lone barbell to occupy myself with and suddenly I was let out into an unsuspecting world.

Which honestly isn't too far from the truth.

"I'm Sasuke. You're boss." He stated and began flipping through the papers on his desk, which looked expensive as well. "Ah, here's the paperwork. I see, yes well you're listed as a 'hand' around here, which means you do whatever our members ask you to do." He glanced up at me with a cold smirk. "Think of yourself as a waiter."

"Alright." What else can I say? Was he expecting me to drop to my knees and kiss his shoes, thanking him over and over for this shit job?

"Go speak to TenTen at the desk, she'll set you up." And then he actually waved me away, as though I were a fruit fly buzzing around.

**OOO**

"I'm Gaara, Sasuke told me to see you for work." I spoke monotonously and stared at the woman furiously typing on the computer at the desk. I couldn't see her face through the computer screen but I could see that she was a brunette.

"Naruto! Take this man with you and show him what to do." She ordered without even looking at me. What's with people here? Do they not know what common curtsey is? How about acknowledging a person's existence? Is that really too hard? Would their brains suddenly combust if they showed a little human decency?

Within seconds a guy around my age with blonde spiky, messy hair and a dark tan jogged up. He was about my height and build but a shitload more energetic, like that damn energizer bunny he kept moving even while standing in place; swinging his hands, shifting his feet it was like he couldn't stand still if someone put a gun to his head. "Yes TenTen?" He addressed the woman behind the desk and glanced at me.

"Naruto, Gaara. Gaara, Naruto. He's new, help him." Was all she directed, her eyes never left the computer screen.

Naruto turned to face me and smiled. "Hey, nice to meet you man." He reached out to shake my hand which I met in a firm clasp. "Alright so you should get suited up."

"Already am." I muttered and shrugged off my black jacket to revel the standard issue grey jacket and pants and only further showed how little they think of people who do manual labor for a living.

At that he chuckled and pointed down the hallway. "Prepared, that's good. Well some lady spilled her smoothie in the lounge. You can clean that up alright? I'm working in the snack room washing windows so I can't help you sorry." He directed me down the long hallway and to the left which opened up into a large, empty room except for a few chairs, tables and the smoothie spill. "It's too early for most members to be here but there a few, so best get to work man."

I nodded and sighed, this looks like a world of fun. "Where do I find the supplies?" I tossed my coat onto the back of a chair and looked around for a cupboard or wash bucket but everything was neatly packet away, waiting for the club members to file in for the day.

"In the supply closet in the hallway." He answered automatically and began walking away. But before he actually left he stopped and his tone of voice dropped. "A word of advice Gaara," He waited till I turned to face him. "Keep your head low; you don't want to piss anyone off around here."

**OOO**

If you think cleaning up a smoothie is easy you're an idiot. Its milk with bits of banana and shit all mixed together and it smells horrible. I can't really use the mop because that just makes the problem worse so I had to get down on my hands and knees with a washrag and bit by bit clean up the smoothie.

Despite my complaining everything was going fine, no one bothered me and I was almost done until I heard a loud 'click' followed by a woman clearing her throat. "Well well, who are you?" I didn't know if I was suppose to answer or not, no one really gave me much of a briefing about what this job exactly was; plus Naruto gave me that ominous warning about keeping my head down so I might as well just do that.

Personally I thought it was a brilliant idea, just continue to clean and not look up at this person and-

"I'm talking to you." Was all the warning I got before a red wedge high heel shoe slammed down on my sleeve.

I followed the red heels up a short leg, hips and flat stomach, large pert breasts to the bright green eyes of a young woman with bright pink hair piled high on her head. "Do you mind?" I growled, annoyed that this stuck up brat-no doubt she's living off of her rich daddy-decided she could just _step_ on my shirt.

"_Who_ are you?" She asked, enunciating 'who' as though I was some mutant creature that fell from space and shit on her car.

"_I _am just trying to do my job." I hissed and tugged, but that wedge had my shirt snagged.

"So someone actually _hired _you to work here?" She raised an eyebrow and snorted. "I need to talk to management, their dropping their standards." And then she removed her shoe and walked away without looking back.

Fucking hell I'm here less than two hours and already someone's trying to get me fired? Are you fucking with me? I didn't even do anything, here I am just cleaning up someone's smoothie they decided to just drop on the floor and that-that bitch just decides to fuck with me!

_That _is the perfect example of injustice!

But I couldn't let this haughty bitch get the better of me, just keep working because there's no way in hell I'll be able to find a job on my own. This is my one shot to get money and I'm not going to mess up on account of some rich-

"There he is. Who let this _lowlife _in here?" That same annoying voice from before spoke. I glanced over my shoulder but didn't stop cleaning. It was the same pink haired woman from before but this time she was not alone; beside her was another women, someone from management.

"Sakura please don't refer to our employees as 'lowlifes'." The manager gently chastised, apparently she was several years older than Miss Prissy and actually knew what manners were. "Gaara will you please stand up?"

"I was not referring to all employees as such TenTen. Merely _this one_."

Wordless I did as she asked and stood up, patting down the standard dark grey pants and jacket before looking at the manager, who I believe is the same TenTen from before who didn't even look up from her computer. She was indeed older than the snooty woman named Sakura with brown hair tied back out of her face, brown eyes and absolutely nothing remarkable about her. In short she was almost the exact opposite of Sakura who was loud, rude, has pink hair, green eyes and is surprisingly short considering the fact that she's glaring at me like I was a disgusting toad.

I'm not by the way. Ugly I mean, in fact personally I think I'm rather attractive but that's beside the point.

"My apologizes Gaara but Miss Haruno here has filed a complaint against you. What is it you have done to her for her to act as such?" TenTen asked clipboard and pen poised and ready to write.

"Nothing." I answered automatically, because really I have done nothing to this short, bitchy woman to warrant her drama.

Sakura snorted and tapped her foot. "Liar. He nearly killed me with all…_that_." She gestured vaguely to the mop, soap bucket and smoothie on the ground. "He didn't put out the required warning sign."

Un-fucking-believable. This is my first day on the job, it hasn't even been two hours and this is the bullshit she comes with?

TenTen frowned and looked around; indeed there was no warning sign out. "On that point yes, you are right Sakura there should be a warning sign but also, this is Gaara's first day and he is now learning." She scribbled something down on her clipboard before looking down at Sakura. "That doesn't warrant him being fired." TenTen then turned to face me and smiled kindly. "You're doing an excellent job here Gaara but for the future, please remember to put out the warning sign. I know it's your first day and you're nervous so I won't write you up."

"Yes Ma'am." I nodded and watched as she turned on her heel and walked away.

"You better watch yourself." Sakura hissed as soon as TenTen was out of earshot. "There's a certain level of people we have here." She stared up at me, her eyes probing every inch of me she could see. "And you don't meet the criteria." With that said she spun on her heel and stomped out.

**OOO**

My day got somewhat better after that encounter; I spent the day sort of following Naruto around like a puppy and he taught me what it is we do around here. Essentially we do whatever we're asked, if a member asks for a drink we get it, if they ask us to clean their ship, we do it, no questions asked. I didn't see that Sakura woman after that, but then I counted my stars too soon because right when Naruto and I were taking a break for lunch she appeared. With friends.

"That ladies is the scum I was telling you about." She hissed and glared down at me as she walked past our table with two women in tow. "Look at how far the bar has fallen around here."

I bit my tongue to stop from telling her off; I couldn't let her get to me even if she was begging me to do it.

"Sakura that isn't nice." Naruto stated, loud and clear which surprised me because I thought we weren't aloud to talk back to the members? If we could I would have given this spoiled bitch a piece of my mind the second she opened that little mouth of hers!

Sakura stopped and stared down at him. "Naruto I wasn't talking about you." She sighed and shook her head. "I would _never _call you that."

"I would." One of the women beside her muttered. She was taller than Sakura with long blonde hair and a side fringe; she had the looks of a model but her nose was scrunched up so she looked like she smelt a fresh load of dog shit.

"Sakura that really wasn't a nice thing to say." The other woman spoke up; she was shorter than the blonde but taller than Sakura with long violet colored hair and a freakishly pale complexion. This girl looked like she's never seen the likes of a sun in all her life, which is fucking weird because she's a member of a damn _yacht _club. "Let's go, I'm getting hungry. Can we have Italian today?"

Sakura stared down at Naruto and me for a few seconds before huffing and walking away, her friends going with her. "You know her?" I asked immediately after she left. I had to know if this mildly annoying but nice guy was friends with that Queen Bitch from Hell because if he was, well shit I needed to keep my distance.

Naruto sighed and opened his bottle of water. "Yeah…she's…wait why did she call you scum? Oh hell you didn't piss her off did you?" He glanced at me a pleading look on his face, like if I _did _do something I could have gone back in time and changed it? For fucks sake what am I? A time lord?

Rolling my eyes I opened my water bottle and drank down half of it, it was a childish thing to do knowing he was waiting for an answer but he didn't exactly answer my question either. Asshole. "I didn't exactly _do_ anything to her. She singled me out."

Hearing that he sighed and shifted around before standing up, taking his sandwich with him. "Look man, you did well today so you can take off early. I'll talk to TenTen for you." He stared down at me, as though trying to read my mind-which was uncomfortable-then, groaned. "I'm serious. Take off! Half a day's work and a full day's pay, I'm being nice here!"

So I did what any other sensible man would do given that situation. I left.

But I'm not stupid, some weird ass things are going on here, but my only concern was figuring out why my darling sister and brother put me in this situation to begin with; and in order to do that I'm going to need to keep out of trouble for awhile longer. I only hoped that that Sakura bitch would just leave me the hell alone. I don't care what her problem is; just don't take out her frustrations on _me_. I'm just a guy trying to sort out my own issues; I don't need anyone else's.

**OOO**

What do you think?

Please leave a review with your thoughts.

All constructive and unconstructive criticism welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to the Rich and Crazy

Chapter 2

Kankurou is a fucking liar that deserves to have his head shaved by a blind Sunday school teacher. He said he'd keep my phone working, which he has but he won't pick up his damn phone! What's the point of me having one if when I call he won't answer?!

And Temari's no better. She picked up once then hung up on me! What the hell?! I'm your brother and you just-fucking hell something's going on and I don't like it one bit.

I shoved my useless cell into my pant pocket and got out of my car. If I can't talk to my siblings I might as well start work. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Gaara!" I looked over my shoulder to see Temari walking towards me. Wait, what? That can't be right I must be seeing things. Right?

"Gaara my baby brother!" She yelped and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug complete with kisses. Nope, it was her alright. "How are you? Did you have a good day at work yesterday? I'm sorry I hung up on you but I was on a important call." She pulled back and pinched my cheek. "You know how busy I am running a company and all."

"Temari. Let go of me." I growled and stepped out of her embrace. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I glanced around the deserted employee parking lot to make sure no one was around. It was bad enough Sakura was harassing me I _don't_ need the employees joining in.

She ignored my question in favor of tapping my car. "Why are you driving to work? You can _walk_ you know. Save some gas."

"I didn't feel like walking." Not to mention I planned on buying some pizza for dinner after work and I didn't really feel like carrying it home in my arms.

Temari sighed and shook her head before producing a folded piece of paper. "Take this and keep it safe okay?"

Wearily I eyed the paper; as much as I care for my sister she was known to dabble in underhanded business. She didn't push Sabaku Corporation as far as she has by playing by the rules and more than once her hands have been dirtied by some less than golden 'business partners'.

"Tem, look I really don't want to get involved with whatever-"

"Just take the paper Gaara. It has the contact information to Shikamaru Nara, you've met him before." She glanced around the parking lot making me more than a little nervous. "I'm going out of town for awhile alright? Oh don't give me that look!" She hissed and shoved the paper into my hand. "Going out of country actually…so is Kankurou. If you need help with anything give Shikamaru a call alright?"

"Tch, fine." I shoved the paper into my pocket alongside my phone and shrugged. Unfortunately I was use to Temari popping into wherever I happen to be announcing that she's leaving the country on 'business' or whatever so I wasn't all that shocked. What interested me though was the fact that Kankurou was also going? As partners when one leaves usually the other remains. How come both of them are leaving this time?

"So where are you going?" I asked conversationally.

Temari bit her lip and pulled me into another hug. "Out of country. Now be a good employee and get to work." With that said she turned and walked away.

"Wait! Where's Kankurou going?"

"Not for me to say!" She answered over her shoulder and gave me an air kiss. "Just don't lose that paper!"

Well that was suspicious. If I had a beard, I would have stroked it right then. But I don't so I didn't.

**OOO**

My second day at work started not too bad, I met Naruto who was slightly more subdued thing morning and set to work doing what I quickly realized would be my routine. Mop the floors, change light bulbs, fetch drinks and polish various boring artworks.

But by lunch time things got steadily worse.

Sakura that stuck up snob had me trailing after her like a slave doing the most humiliating things I suspect she could think of. First she had me hold her damn smoothie while she walked _every fucking inch_ of the club, then I was made to massage her feet because she insisted on wearing five inch wedges, after that I had to stand there holding her salad whilst she debated whether or not juice had as much carbs as a health drink.

I swear I could feel my brain cells dying every time this rich, pink haired, obnoxious, poor excuse of a woman opened her mouth.

"Gaara be a good worker and fetchme my _jacket_." Sakura ordered as she lounged on one of the couches and waved her hand imperiously. And there was a few more, like the way she spoke! That alone could drive a man mad; always enunciating one word like she's patronizing a child. I'm not incompetent I can speak and understand English just fine!

I refused the urge to bow dramatically and say 'As you wish my lady!' But I went to get her stupid jacket anyway.

"Damn bitch. What am I? A slave? I don't get paid enough for this shit." I muttered under my breath as I stalked to the coat room and yanked open the door, suddenly realizing I had no idea which one of the hundreds of jackets hanging there was hers. "Damn."

"Hey Gaara!" I glanced over my shoulder to see Naruto standing there holding a broom and pail. "What are you doing?" He looked at me suspiciously before walking over. "You aren't thinking of trying to…check their pockets are you? Beca-"

"No!" I cut him off, mildly annoyed that he'd think I'd do that, and sort of annoyed that I hadn't thought of it myself. "Sakura, Her Highness sent me to get her jacket."

"Oh." He snorted. "Wow she really hates you." He muttered before shouldering past me and rummaging through the racks before holding out a black, jacket. "This is her's"

"Thanks." I took it and held it away from as though it were hazard to my health. "Hey Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Why does she hate me? What'd I do to her?" In other words, should I really be apologizing to this pink haired menace so she'd leave me the hell alone?

Naruto sighed and scratched his head. And avoided my eyes. Basically he did every suspicious thing you could think of. "Well…you didn't _do_ anything she just hates new people…no matter who they happen to be." He glanced over my shoulder and shrugged. "She doesn't hate you specifically she hates everyone who's…"

"Poor?" I fished.

"Sort of…people who earn wages like we do."

"Meaning what labor?"

"Sort of."

"You're poor."

"Not exactly." He chuckled and shrugged. "I'm…We've known each other for years so…I'm sort of the exception to that rule."

You've got to be fucking kidding me; this woman hates me because I have to work for a living? How stuck up is that?!

**OOO**

I walked up to Sakura, her coat in my arms more than ready to give it to her and leave. But that didn't happen, instead just as she was about to turn around the double doors burst open and men wearing black suits and dark sunglasses marched inside.

Who were these men? And why the dramatic entrance?

"Shit." Sakura cursed and snatched her jacket from my arms. "Shit shit shit shit shit!" She cursed under her breath and struggled to put on her coat. I debated helping her before sighing and actually helping her.

Damn me and my chivalrous ways.

It was then she realized that I was still there and clamped her hand down on my arm. "You stay with me. Got it? Do not leave my side." She hissed.

"What the f-"

"Don't talk either." She dug her nails into my arm sending shots of pain.

"Don't tell me what to do!" I hissed back, but I knew not to make a scene. That however didn't stop Sakura from digging her nails deeper into my arm. "Stop that."

"Shut up! Don't you know who they are? Of course not you _simpleton._" She scowled but eased her death grip on my poor arm. "Never mind just shut up and be warned. Do _not_ upset the ones in the proper suits."

Proper suits? My eyes flicked over the men still filing into the room, lining the walls and falling into some sort of order. There was a difference between them some wore full suits buttoned all the way up; others had forgone the jacket and only wore the black pants and white dress shirt. From what I could see the ones who shed the suit jacket and rolled up their sleeves were tattooed. And smoked.

A tall man with a long black hair strolled into the room accompanied by even more guys in suits; they flanked him and when he stopped, they stopped and clasped their hands in front of them. "Sakura. How lovely to see you." He addressed Sakura from across the room.

Beside me I felt her grow tense but she smiled at him all the same. "Hello Itachi. It's wonderful to see you too, albeit a bit surprising."

The one named Itachi removed his sunglasses and tucked it into his jacket pocket. "Yes well, I have business to discuss with my younger brother."

"Of course you do." My head snapped to the side to see Sasuke standing there wearing a dark blue suit with the jacket hanging open. He looked as though he ran a mile to get here, his shirt was crumpled, he wasn't even wearing a tie and his hair-but maybe he just doesn't know about the existence of a comb-was a tangled mess. "That's the only reason you ever make the trip." He strolled up to Sakura, one hand in his pocket.

"Brother, you know I'm busy." Itachi smiled, but that was one hell of a creepy smile.

Something shifted in the air, tension grew, smiles were made but there was something hidden and sketchy about them. It seemed like a fight was about to break out between the two brothers.

"Gaara drive Sakura home." Sasuke ordered without looking at me.

I scoffed, who does he think he is? Alright sure he's the boss but I'm not that pink menses' butler, it's not my job to see to her every whim and fancy! I work for the club, not her specifically. What do I care if he and his brother have issues? I'm not Sakura babysitter to keep her safe. "Sir." I growled and just as I took a breath to continue with my speech, Sasuke turned to face me.

"No?" He asked casually, but the look in his eyes was anything but casual and nonchalant. "That's an order Gaara. Drive Sakura home."

Suddenly Naruto appeared beside me and clamped one hand down on my shoulder and squeezed. "It's not that far Gaara. Like ten minutes then you're done and can go home for the rest of the day. Right Sasuke?"

Sasuke eyed me before nodding and crossing his arms over his chest and turning back to his brother. "Alright Itachi. Let's talk."

**OOO**

Driving Sakura home wasn't as painful as I thought it would be if I'm being honest. She barked out directions and remained quiet until I pulled up in front of a gated community. It was then the painful part began. "Drive up to the booth, _I'll _talk to them."

Wordlessly I did as she said and rolled down my window.

"Who-Miss Sakura! Hello, I didn't see you there." One of the guards bowed and wave to someone in the booth.

Sakura leaned over me completely and unnecessarily invading my personal space. "Understandable, normally I wouldn't be caught in _this_ poor excuse of an automobile."

Oh for fucks sake was that really necessary?

The guard laughed good-naturedly and shrugged. "It's alright. Go right on in."

"Thank you, oh and I understand if you think _this_ man here is a thief but don't shoot him if you see him without me." She pointed at me before pointing at the now open gate. "Go on. Drive. I'm straight ahead last house on the left."

**OOO**

I pulled up in front of her house and let the engine idle, waiting for her to get out and go inside. After a few seconds she cleared her throat and crossed her arms. "Well?"

"Well what? Get out, there's your house. I've done my job."

"You're _supposed_ to open the door for me and help me out of the car."

At her pretentious, self entitled tone I rolled my eyes. "Why the fucking hell, have you made it your duty to make my life shit?" I asked calmly and turned off the engine before getting out of the car and walking around to the passenger side and opening the door for her. "I have enough problems without you jumping on the bandwagon alright?"

Sakura sniffed and took a deep breath and looked away from me as I held out one hand to help her out of the car.

Crap. She's not going to actually cry is she? Because if she does I'm the one who's going to look like an asshole for making her cry! "Hey you're not crying are you?"

"NO!" She sneered and got out of the car without my help. "Of course I'm not! Why would I?! Prick."

And the bitch is back. While her back was turned, I strangled the air near her throat. Maybe I should just leave and let her wallow in her own mental craziness by herself. Technically speaking my job is over; I was supposed to get her home safely, which I did. I looked around but saw nothing but the shadows of the trees.

"Okay, since I'm just a prick who did his job I'm going to go now. Goodnight." I resisted the urge to bow dramatically and shut the passenger door. Idly I fished in my pocket for my keys wondering if she'd at least have the common courtesy to say 'goodnight' or 'thank you'.

"Wait."

It wasn't 'thanks' or 'goodnight' but once again another order. I was tempted to just get in my car and leave but curiosity got the better of me so I turned around to see her fiddling with the door handle and her house keys. "Yes?"

Sakura bit her lip and glanced around. "You should come inside…in case."

In case of what?

"Now. Get inside _now_ Gaara." Her bitchy demanding self was back, which pissed me off. Why should I listen to this stuck up sno- "I said _get in the damn house!" _She hissed and stomped inside, leaving the door wide open behind her.

I should leave. I should just get in my car and leave this psychotic girl by herself. Who cares if someone walks in there after her? She's crazy, I'm sure she could handle them without any problems. Probably grab her shoe and chuck it at their head. Yeah, she'll be fine. It's not my job to look after her.

So did I do the sensible thing and leave?

No, of course not because I'm an idiot and I followed her inside her stupid house.

**OOO**

"Why was I forced into your house?" I drawled and looked around, the foyer was posh filled with paintings, something along the walls-I think their called borders-chairs, and of course an expensive coat and shoe rack.

Sakura scoffed and motioned behind me. "Shut the door Gaara. This isn't a barn."

For the love of the Maker can this woman be any more bipolar? If I have to spend any more time with her I'm going to get whiplash; she went from hostile back to her demanding self in two seconds flat. But to avoid getting into anymore arguments with her I turned around and shut the door.

"Come in here."

I turned around to see one of the double doors to the left open.

"Now!"

With a sigh I trudged in to the room not bothering to remove my jacket or shoes. This woman was giving me a migraine. Inside was huge with multiple couches, chairs and tables, alone one wall was a bookcase, and another housed drink, from the ceiling hung a large white chandelier and in the middle of all this stood Sakura with her arms crossed. "Can you walk any slower?"

Casually I strolled inside, eyeing everything. Holy shit there must be at least a million dollars worth of things in the room alone! More than a million! I think that might be actual gems in that cat's face!

"Take a seat you." She ordered.

It was at that remark-I refuse to consider it an order-I snapped. Okay snapped isn't the right word, it's more like I decided to put her in her place.

"Sakura what the hell is your problem with me?" I took a seat on the couch, holy crap it was comfortable but I refused to acknowledge how nice they made my ass feel. "What did I do to you personally to deserve your…attention?"

Sakura sniffed and turned around to the cart she apparently wheeled over and began making a drink. I was mildly surprised she didn't have me do it for her.

"If you simply _must_ know Gaara, I have problems."

I snorted. "Figured that out on my own. But that doesn't answer my question."

She glared at me over her shoulder. "I mean I have actual mental problems."

"Again, not news to me." I tapped the side of my head. "It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out."

"You have me there," She rolled her eyes. "Well since you know everything you must know that the owner of the Yacht Club works for the Yakuza and all of the members are-well _most_ of the members of the club is also part of the Yakuza. Including me." She spilled eagerly. Honestly the words tumbled so fast from her lips I barely understood them.

I eyed the young woman in front of me with apprehension, is she kidding? She must be right? Who the hell goes around announcing to perfect strangers that they hate that they are Yakuza? Maybe she _is_ crazy and now she's just blabbing nonsense to get some sort of rise out of me.

"What are you on about? If this is some stunt to make me late for work tomorrow it's not funny." I groaned and rubbed a hand down my face. "I'm _tired_ Sakura, and I would-"

"I'm not joking Gaara!" She hissed. "Do you know what the Yakuza are?"

"Yes! I'm not stupid like you seem to believe I am." I sighed and sank back down into the plush chair; obviously I wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon. "It's the Japanese Mafia."

"Exactly." She crossed her arms across her chest and smirked. "_Mafia._ Have some respect."

"For the love of the Maker Sakura, the Yakuza are _Japanese_. In _Japan_. In case you've forgotten we're in America."

She snorted and cocked her head to the side and stared at me as though deciding if I was worth the explanation she was thinking of giving. "Gaara the Yakuza own most of the banks here in California."

I stared at Sakura; waiting for her to laugh, sneer or give any indication that she was just having me on. But she didn't move. She just kept that perfectly straight face with one eyebrow raised as if silently daring me to say she was lying again.

Oh crap. What if she isn't lying? What if all she said is fucking _real?_

That means…that means I'm…oh shit. That's why Naruto said not to piss any of them off.

And I pissed this one off.

Fuck.

What is she going to do to me?

**OOO**

Reviews please. Also check out the links in my profile.

All constructive and unconstructive criticism welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

Welcome to the Rich and Crazy

Chapter 3

Dictated by self preservation given the fact that there was a psychotic pink haired woman sitting in front of me holding out an alcoholic beverage, who also happened to decide to be the thorn in my side; I took the drink. So what if it was poisoned? I rather die poisoned than tortured.

Or run over by my own car.

Or hung.

Or castrated. Fucking hell not castration!

Wearily I watched Sakura over the rim of my glass as I took a large gulp; it tasted like watered down whiskey.

"Judging by the look on your face you believe me?" She asked with a smile. "I _knew_ you would."

"Why do you talk like that?" It just slipped out! Honestly I wasn't planning on saying anything more to Sakura; I was going to listen to her till she said I could go then go _home!_ But my damn mouth betrayed me!

"Talk like what?"

Quickly I took another gulp of the watered down whiskey before explaining. With an effort not to snap, in case she would pop back into the annoying, demanding bitch I hated; she was still annoyed but at least I wasn't rubbing her feet.

"Enunciating. You do it in almost every sentence. Why is that?" Sweat broke out along my forehead and down my back as I looked at Sakura, the woman who had the power to kill me. Can my life be any more of a mess?

Well I suppose it can, Kankurou could become an alcoholic. Or a drug addict.

She thought for a second before shrugging. "I don't know…do I really?"

"Well now you aren't." I muttered. "But you do most of the time. It's fucking annoying." Oh for the love of- is this how I really react to a dangerous situation? By making conversation and pointing out the flaws of the person who can kill me in a number of painful ways? I must be a complete and total idiot.

"I've been doing that for as long as I can remember…it was the way Itachi taught me to talk to people below me."

"I'm sorry what?"

She blinked innocently and tilted her head to one side. "Isn't that right? You speak slowly and enunciate so that servants can understand you…well you don't seem to need that you seem to pick up on things quick." Fucking hell now its backhanded compliments? She, now I was wondering if she really _was_ bipolar.

That's it I need to leave now before I get myself killed.

"Okay Sakura, I did what the boss said I had to, so I'm just going to go now." I stood up and set the glass down on the table dividing us. "Have a wonderful night-no need to get up! I can show myself out." And then I got out of there so quick I left tire marks on her driveway.

I hope she doesn't add that to the growing list of reasons to have me killed.

**OOO**

When I got home I nearly shat myself out of pure fear.

Yakuza.

Japanese mafia.

They don't fuck around and I was now working for them! Alright not _for_ them exactly but a place they obviously own. Did Temari know this? Temari! Got to call her and find out what the hell is going on. Immediately my cell phone found its way into my hand, but then I realized she was now out of country and I was only supposed to call her in case of absolute emergency.

Do I finding out the place where I work is run by Yakuza whom I accidently pissed off fall under that category?

In Temari's book it wouldn't be.

With a heavy sigh I sunk down into the couch and groaned. There was that Shikamaru guy I could call; maybe he might be able to shed some light on this weird ass situation.

**OOO**

"Hi yeah uh, is this Shikamaru?" I wasn't nervous about speaking to this man that I supposedly met before but more about what he might say.

"_Yes. And you must be Gaara. Temari's youngest brother am I right?"_

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"_Caller ID."_

"Right…"

"_So what can I do for you?" _

"Well…you see uh…"

"_Don't worry about anything you say, Temari's told me everything and I'm suppose to help you out with anything you need…you aren't in jail are you?"_ He sounded exasperated at the thought.

Wait, if he was suppose to help me with anything that _includes_ bailing me out of jail so why's he sounding so put out by it? "No it's nothing like that."

"…_You aren't calling me for food are you? Because I don't cook. Call for pizza delivery."_

Shit I haven't eaten since lunch, not that I can eat now. There's nothing my stomach can handle right now. "No it's not food. Listen the place where I work. You know it right? A Yacht club down-"

"_Yeah I know it."_

"Did you know its run by the Yakuza?"

"_Yes."_

Well at least he seems to know some things, but why does everyone else seem to know this expect me? "Why did Temari get me a job there?"

"_Not my place to say."_

"So you know but won't say? For fucks sake man this is my life!"

He sighed and muttered something I couldn't understand before sighing again.

"_Gaara I'm sorry but Temari's the one you're going to have to ask why she did what she did."_

"You can't tell me anything." I derided and sighed. How useless is this guy?

"_I can tell you that you better not screw up."_

"No shit." Too late for that buddy, I've already dug my own grave and picked out the flowers.

"…_Should I be concerned?"_

"Yes." Then I hung up.

**OOO**

Sleeping was a task that night, my mind kept playing out every scenario possible from the Yakuza bursting into my room and stabbing me to death to them planting a bomb in my car. Every time I managed to drift off to some semblance of sleep I'd jump awake panicking that I was going to die. This was out of character for me but goddamn, I valued my _life_ thank you very much! Getting murdered in the middle of the night isn't exactly high on my to-do list.

Eventually I gave up and just laid there in the dark.

**OOO**

Needless to say I was damn nervous going into work the next day, to the point I nearly called in sick but in the back of my mind I knew that would be stupid and Sakura already most likely blabbed her mouth to someone and I would have just been digging a deeper grave for myself by not showing up. So sleep depraved, slightly nauseous and generally pissed off I went to work.

Immediately I was shoved into Sasuke's office.

He eyed me the way one would eye a flat tire in the morning; annoyed, mildly disgusted but not entirely horrible. A mere nuance. "It has come to my attention that Sakura has informed you of our unique situation." His lips actually curled at the word 'situation'.

I nodded, wary what he might do if I tread too far into the water. This guy sitting in front of me has the power to make me disappear, no one would have any idea what happened to me until it's too late and even then they won't know the truth. But I appeared cool, calm and mildly disinterested-there was no way I'm going to die a coward. Honestly I'd rather _not_ die but I have no say in the matter, I was going to go proud.

His intense gaze relaxed into something resembling mild interest. "Your sister has informed me that you are trustworthy and you will keep quiet."

At that one of my eyebrows shot up involuntarily. Sorry, did he just say _sister_? As in Temari?

"Therefore I will not…punish you. But you will remain quiet about what you know."

Reflexively I swallowed and nodded.

Sasuke continued to stare at me for a few more seconds before sighing. "I presume you will take note of how she is treated and follow. Do not decide to be the one to hurt her Gaara, or I will assure you it will be the last decision you make. You may leave."

**OOO**

Didn't really feel like working right away so I decided to get breakfast to celebrate not dying. About two minutes walk from work there's a little diner that from what people say serves the best eggs; there was my destination. Of course nothing is ever easy so when I walked out the front door of the club who did I run into? Naruto of course.

"Hey Gaara!" He grinned and waved. "Where ya going? Works the other way round man."

Halfheartedly I shrugged, normally I'd be happy to see Naruto, as annoying loud as he is he's damn helpful and tends to diffuse whatever shit I get into around here. But right now I didn't want to work I wanted to eat and he might not be so happy to watch me duck off instead of clocking in. "I know but I'm hungry. Heard there's a diner around here that makes good food."

He frowned and nodded. "Yeah about two minutes that-a-way." He pointed to the left. "Didn't you eat?"

I shook my head no. Maybe if I didn't talk too much he'd take the hint and leave.

Of course it's me so he didn't; instead he zipped up his jacket and turned around. "One of those days huh? I'll join you before you decide to commit suicide." He said it in jest but little did he know how close I came to actually dying not ten minutes ago.

**OOO**

"Want to talk about it?" Naruto asked and stirred his coffee.

We sat opposite one another in a booth in the diner waiting on our orders to be filled. The place was warm and the service friendly. Or maybe it just seemed that way having my life handed back into my hands. The waitress serving was an old woman with thinning red hair she obviously dyes and boney fingers; despite her frail frame and sharp nose she was nice.

Absently I looked back at Naruto to see him waiting, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. Should I tell him? Obviously-if his actions indicate anything-he knows that it's Yakuza we work for. Question is, is he one of them? And would he too want to kick my ass?

Outright I went against what Sasuke asked and opened my mouth, hoping for the best possible outcome. "You know the club we work for is run by Yakuza?" Best to jump right on in than poke the water am I right?

Naruto sat back, eyebrows raised. "Yeah…how do youknow _that_?" He whispered.

"Sakura. After dropping her home last night she kept going on about it." I sipped my coffee. "I got called into Sasuke's office this morning."

"What'd he say?"

"To keep my mouth shut and something about Sakura."

"What about her?"

"Uh…" What did he say again? Something about treating her right?

"I don't know…something about her not being hurt or the other." I snorted. "Like I'm the one out for blood. _She's _the one that wants _my_ head on a platter."

I expected him to laugh, or at least snort but Naruto did neither. Instead he sighed and shook his head. "Man I'm sorry Gaara. I should have taken Sakura home myself and saved you all that shit." He drank the remainder of his coffee in one gulp just as the waitress appeared with our food.

"Here you go dearies." She beamed and set down my plate in front of me; filled to the brim with eggs, potatoes, sausage and toast. "I'll get you boys some more coffee."

Naruto nodded. "Thanks."

I dug in, shoving a whole forkful of egg and toast into my mouth; holy crap, it tasted so good! It was heaven! _This_ is what Heaven tastes like!

"You can hurt her you know. That's why you have to be careful." Naruto mumbled just as the waitress reappeared to refill the coffee.

Humming, she topped off mine and Naruto's. "Anything else I can get you boys?"

I shook my head, mouth stuffed with sausage and egg.

"Alright, enjoy. Holler if you need anything."

"What you mean I can hurt her? Who? The old woman?" I pointed to the waitress as she walked away, surprisingly quick for her age.

Naruto snorted and began to eat his pancakes; which didn't look nearly as good as my food. "No I mean Sakura. You got to be careful with her Gaara."

At that I rolled my eyes, this food was too good to sully talking about that crazy pink haired menace and her equally insane Yakuza friends. "Naruto what are you on about. Be quick with it will you? This foods too good to talk about her."

"Sakura is…soft in the head."

I didn't respond aside from shoving another forkful of eggs and toast into my mouth. As far as I'm concerned Sakura is to be avoided as if she has the plague; every time she's close to me something goes wrong in my life.

"Slightly…out of step with everyone else."

Again, nothing.

Finally he sighed and ran a hand down his face. "She's suffered damage to her brain; do I have to spell it out for you? When she was small she was involved in a situation that caused her trauma. Now, in order to cope with it she lives in her head." He eyed me. "Get it?"

Trauma? She's suffered something traumatic?

"What happened?"

"…Her father walked into their territory and refused to pay the fees. They took pity on her." He mumbled and looked away.

"Well shit…"

"Yeah. Don't fuck with the Yakuza."

"No shit." That seems to be my new mantra. "So they hit her on the head or something?" I raised an eyebrow and took a sip of my coffee; if that's what happened it would sure as hell explain a lot about her.

Naruto took a bite of pancakes and shrugged. "I don't really know…I don't think so it's more like…" He frowned and ate some more. "Like the experience traumatized her so much she now kind of lives in her own head a lot."

"Interesting…" So she lives in her own little world yet walks around as though everyone that walks into her presence owes her their life?

**OOO**

Half an hour later we went to work, stomachs full, and in a relatively good mood. Well I was in a good mood until Sakura found me two seconds after we walked in. I didn't even have time to remove my jacket before she started talking.

"Gaara! There you are I've been looking for you. Did you just get here? You're late!" Her gaze locked on Naruto. "You too Naruto! Where have you two been?"

At least she stopped enunciating words like I'm an idiot. Or speaking a foreign language.

Naruto chuckled. "Morning Sakura." He smiled at her. "How are you today?"

"Fine, how about you?"

"I'm good."

Sakura smiled at him before unfortunately returning to me. "Give Naruto your jacket, Gaara, and come with me."

Oh crap. What is it now?

Wordlessly I shucked my coat and followed after Sakura, I was too tired to argue with her.

**OOO**

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Continue?

All constructive and unconstructive criticism welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

Welcome to the Rich and Crazy

Chapter 4

Sakura led me down to one of the private rooms that I haven't been in then locked the door behind us. She then strolled over to one of the chairs and sat down and looked up at me expectantly. What was I suppose to do? What did she want? A foot massage? Oh shit if that's the case let me grab my gas mask and the forty-dollar lotion she'd no doubt want me to use. What a joyous time that will be.

Actually it wouldn't surprise me if that was it.

"Yes?" I asked and looked around at the room; it was fucking huge with ceiling to floor paneled windows and an entire wall dedicated to just being books shelves. I'm fairly positive none of those books have actually been read. The chairs looked just as expensive with some fancy design carved in; they reminded me of the ones Temari won't let me sit on because the last time I did I may have spilled some juice on the cushion. I was six then.

"Gaara." She sang my name which was creepy as hell.

Crap. This isn't a set up is it? Sasuke said as long as I don't fuck up, I'm good so…what is this? Oh man there are assassins in here aren't there? They're just waiting for the right time to jump out and put a bullet in my head!

"Come have a seat Gaara." She pointed to the chair opposite her.

"Alright." I took the seat, still waiting for an ambush. The blood rushed in my ears as my legs gave out and I all but collapsed like a drunk onto the chair. How much more suspense can my heart take before it gives out? Wait, don't answer that.

She looked at me with concern in her eyes. "Why'd you run away last night?"

Wow, blunt isn't she? "Because…you told me you're Yakuza." I answered slowly, was this a trick question? Wouldn't any other sane person do the same thing? Come on, people rarely interact with the Yakuza and come out alive. Or sane.

Sakura nodded and frowned. "But…you just ran off. And left tire marks in my driveway."

Damnit! I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass! "Yeah…sorry about that. It uh-it wasn't intentional you know." Nervously I massaged the back of my neck. Right about now an assassin would be welcome. I'm not really in the mood to scrub her driveway with a toothbrush and wait for her inspection.

"I spoke to Sasuke." She sighed and crossed her legs then leaned heavily on the arm rest. "He's the Boss around here . He promised he won't have you killed."

I almost raised my arms to block the flying bullets but froze. Wait, _what? _I thought she brought me here to die! Cautiously I raised an eyebrow and tried to breathe evenly before speaking. "Wait…you did that for me?"

"Of course."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"You hate me sounds like a pretty good reason to not do what you did."

"But I don't hate you."

"You don't?"

"No. Why'd you think I hated you?"

I peered at her. "…You tried to have me fired."

"Oh. That." She sighed. Really, she _sighed_. Excuse me but I'd like to order a shot of Whiskey, Double Black right now before the Apocalypse hits. Sakura _sighed. _As though she was feeling _sympathetic _to me.

"Yeah. That. And the fact that you order me around like a slave might give me and anyone else looking on the indication that you hate me and would like to see me dead." I drawled.

Sakura looked aghast at the thought, her jaw essentially dropped to the floor; I could see the backs of her teeth before she caught herself and had the decency to blush. "I-I wouldn't want to see you dead. That's horrible."

"I agree. I like living." Personally I think it's a hell of a lot better than someone finding my body scattered across four states. Then again I am biased.

"So do I. I like the fact that you and I are alive."

What the hell kind of conversation is this? But you know what; I'm not going to complain. I'm just going to go with it. Talking to a pink haired sassy-assed woman about my possible death like we're chatting about the weather isn't what I expected, but I'll be lying if it's worse than having my throat slit.

"Glad we agree."

Sakura nodded; obviously pleased with herself for some reason I have yet to figure out. Did she draw some sort of conclusion from this weird exchange of words? "I like you Gaara. You didn't give me time to say that last night when you left so fast." Is that a bit of passive-aggressiveness I sense there?

I nodded with one eyebrow raised. "Yeah, I'm…fond? Of you too Sakura. If it weren't for you I'm sure this job would be less…dramatic."

She beamed and nodded. "I agree. It was a bit boring before you showed up."

"Alright…maybe I should get back to work now. Or rather _start_ work." I moved to stand up just as she shot out of her chair and stood over me.

"No! You can't!"

"And why not? You just said Sasuke said I-"

"Itachi's still here."

"Who?"

"Sasuke's older brother."

"Again, who?"

"You met him!"

"I did? When?"

"Yesterday! He's the one with all the men in jackets, the boss of the Yakuza!"

Oh, _him_. The one with the entourage. "So? I still have to work and everything should be fine so long as I keep my nose out of everyone's business." I eyed her accusingly. "And trust me; I have no desire to find out other people's problems. I've got enough of my own."

"But if he see's you he might…" She trailed off annoyingly.

"He might _what?_ Sakura?"

She sighed and threw herself back down into the chair and curled her legs up. "He might _take you away_!" She stressed and glared at me as though everything was my fault.

I raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Sorry? He might what now?"

"You're a good worker Gaara. A _really_ good worker and Itachi's always looking for good workers. And you're not ugly. Why aren't you ugly? You should be ugly because then he won't take you and I can't stop him if he wants to take you. Yeah, I could cry and _maybe_ he won't but Sasuke can't stop him either and I don't want you to go!" She wailed which made me incredibly uncomfortable. First she tried to get my fired and now she's crying that she doesn't want me to go. I think someone's been off their medication for a few days.

Sakura is _crying_ over the thought of me leaving? What the hell? I glanced around the room just to look anywhere but her. "Listen Sakura…calm down." Obviously I don't do well with crying women. "Don't worry and stuff alright?"

She continued to sniff and cry and I avoided looking at her as if she were a gorilla.

"Why don't I just go back to work now okay?" I stood up and she with me. "No no, you can uh…stay here and…" Calm the fuck down! You don't know me and I don't know you; in fact I don't _want_ to get to know you so I don't know why you're getting all emotional!

"No." She wiped her eyes and sighed. "No I'll come with you. What are you going to do if Itachi wants you? Hm?"

I had no response for the stupid sentence. What? Is he gay and has a fetish for red heads? I see no reason to be worrying over something he can't do; no one can 'take me away'. I'm not a damn dog.

**OOO**

True to her word Sakura followed me to Naruto, watched while I suited up. Which was a bit uncomfortable if I'm being honest. She then followed us into the main room where we had to wax the floors. Have I ever mentioned how boring floor waxing is? We have to clean the floor first, and then start waxing but no; we can't use a mop which would be too easy. We have to get down on our hands and knees with a damn sponge and get up close and personal.

"Oh wait, hold on." Naruto stopped in front of me and I rammed the mop I was holding into his back.

"Sorry."

He didn't even acknowledge my apology.

"Shit." Sakura cursed.

It was then I looked around at my surroundings; the main room wasn't empty like it was suppose to be there were men milling about smoking, and talking but towards the center stood Itachi and Sasuke. And neither looked to be in a nice pleasant mood. Sasuke looked like he was sucking on a lemon and Itachi was doing a good impression of an annoyed father.

"What do you two want?" Sasuke asked and looked over at us.

"Given the buckets and cleaners I think they are here to clean Sasuke." Itachi spoke and strolled over to us. "Really, I thought I taught you better than that." He tutted arrogantly.

Itachi eyed me with what I fear is mild interest; I was quickly learning that mild interest around these people tend to lead to horrible situations for me. He gave a slight sneer before turning and looking at Naruto before walking back to Sasuke. "Brother."

Apparently Sasuke wasn't too fond of the tone, or maybe it was even the word and scowled. "Don't call me that."

"But we are brothers." Itachi smiled and opened his arms like a minister, which was disturbing. "I am in need of a butler at me home."

At that Sasuke looked murderous, I swear he would have pulled out a knife and gutted his older brother if it wasn't for one of the men placing a hand on his shoulder. "Oh? And what, may I ask, happened to your butler?"

"He had an accident." I would have laughed out loud at that statement if it wouldn't have probably gotten me shot.

"Sure. Right." Sasuke looked to the side and swallowed. "And you can't get someone in Japan to be your butler?"

"Now Sasuke you know how hard it is to get people to be quite when they aren't…_use_ to my sort of life."

"Of course."

"And you have always been one of my most trusted partners."

Sasuke snorted. "No doubt about that."

"I like the red head. He always seems quite and from what I've seen he's very capable."

"Who?"

"The red head."

"What red head?"

Itachi turned and pointed to me. "_That_ one. Are you alright in the head?"

Sasuke paled at the realization and I almost shit myself. "You can't have him."

"Why not?"

"He's not one of us."

At that Itachi frowned. "Don't lie to me Sasuke you wouldn't have someone working here who didn't have inkling about what it is we do."

"You can't have him."

"And why not?" Itachi's voice turned dark and low. Did the temperature just drop? He looked over his shoulder at me and smiled. "You. Pack your bags you're coming back to Japan with me."

I paled and took a step back, ready to run as fast as I can out the door and, well honestly I don't know where I'd run to but I'll definitely run. _Japan?!_ Who the hell does this guy think he is? He might as well have said 'go and check the temperature outside with your penis' from his tone of voice.

"No, sorry no. I-I can't go to Japan."

"Sure you can. You pack your bags, get on a plane, and the pilot does the flying." Itachi answered without a hint of amusement in his voice. "What's your name?"

"His name is Gaara and he isn't going anywhere with you." Sakura stepped in front of me, hands on hips craning her neck to stare up at Itachi. She was doing an impressive imitation of an angry mother. Which seemed slightly disturbing with Itachi's angry father look.

"Sakura I-"

"No! I don't want to hear it Itachi, Gaara's not going to Japan with you! He's staying here!"

Sasuke almost laughed but instead smothered it behind a cough. Apparently he's been on the receiving end of her tantrums and demands before. I however was not in a laughing mood and my stomach decided now was a good time to try learning contortionism.

Itachi sighed and massaged his forehead. "Sakura now's not the time for this okay?"

"Why _him?_" It was kind of hard not to miss the mild disgust and confusion in Sasuke's voice. "Of all the employees I have here?"

Itachi regarded me with one eyebrow raised. "Initially he looked quiet, competent, and strong. The exact type of employee I want. _However_," He paused and a cynical smile appeared on his face as he slowly turned to face his younger brother. "After hearing how…desperately you and little Sakura here want him to stay…" He looked around the room and smiled beseeching at Sakura still standing in front of me. "I'm willing to accept Sakura as well. Why don't you come back to Japan with me?"

At that Sasuke actually made a sound I didn't think anybody was capable of making and leaped in front of Sakura. "Fuck off Itachi; you're going too fucking far." He hissed.

It was at this point I finally backed away; having Sakura stand in front of me was uncomfortable. But Sasuke standing in front of Sakura standing in front of me was too much, I was starting to look like a helpless child in need of as much protection as possible.

"Brother y-"

"Don't 'brother' me! You do this all the damn time Itachi!" Sasuke glared up at his older brother. "Come here, intrude into _my_ business, take my employees then run back to Japan! Sakura _left_ you! Okay? She fucking left you and came here to me! And guess what! She likes it-she is happy here because there is no one hovering the fuck over her!"

Not once during Sasuke's outburst did Itachi move, he remained completely impassive and waiting patiently until Sasuke finished before clearing his throat. "Why don't you let Sakura talk for herself?" And shifted his gaze to Sakura.

Oddly she stepped back to stand beside me. "I'm not going back to Japan with you. And neither is Gaara." Then she grabbed my hand.

I would have pulled my hand away before anyone got the wrong message but it was too late, it was in Itachi and Sasuke's eyes.

They think we're dating.

Fuck! Why won't someone shoot me now?! I know all these men here have guns on them why don't they do me a favor and put me out of my misery?

Both of their eyebrows disappeared up into their hairline and my face went hot, for some reason I don't know why I'm blushing! I don't like this psychotic pink haired woman that keeps shoving her _and_ me into problems I have no desire to get into!

But that doesn't explain why for some reason I can't will the blood out of my face and honestly –and I do hate to admit this- it feels kind of nice having her hand clutching mine for support. So I gave her fingers a little squeeze. Don't know why, just did; felt like the right thing to do at that time.

"Oh…I see what's going on here." Itachi offered a small knowing smile; but he didn't _know_ so I don't know why he did because if he did know then he would know there would be nothing to smile about because there is nothing between Sakura and me. "Well come, let's talk dear brother there are many things to discuss regarding Sakura and her…and Gaara."

**OOO**

I'm happy to let you know that I then spent the next few hours sticking to Naruto like glue while we went around the club cleaning and shining things. At least with him near there was less of a chance for Itachi to have someone kidnap me and put me on a plane to Japan. However Sakura took to following me around like a lost puppy, she kept tailing after me with a stupid smile or frown on her face. As weird and unnerving as that was she didn't talk or yell at me so I basically ignored her and did my job.

It was lunch time when Sasuke came and found me and ordered me into his office, naturally Sakura followed.

"You should know not to talk back to Itachi." Sasuke spoke casually.

"Alright."

"I mean it."

I eyed him beside me. "Listen I know you're use to obedience but if he wants to send me off to Japan-"

"Take. He wants to take you to Japan." He corrected without looking at me. "There's a difference."

"The difference being what? He wants to romance me?" I snort.

"He wants to buy you."

Fucking hell what? I stumbled and chocked on my own spit. "What the fuck?!" Correct me if I'm wrong but we don't live in the _sixteenth century_! You can't just _buy_ me! Slavery no longer exists!

Sasuke glared and looked around. "Shut up! I don't want him to hear you!"

"You can't-buy?!" I hiss and glare at Sasuke. "He can't do that! I'm not-not a fucking slave!"

I felt Sakura slip her hand into mine and used her other to massage my shoulder. "Shhh, it's okay Gaara. Sasuke will explain everything if you just listen." She cooed.

I pulled myself out of her grip and glared at them both. If it wasn't for that pink haired menace everything would be fine! It's her fault I'm in this fucking mess in the first place and I'll be damned if I sit back and let them do _more_ shit to my life! "You two can suck my dick you fuc-"

Sasuke shoved me against a wall, elbow pressed against my throat successfully cutting off my air supply. "Shut your fucking mouth." He hissed, nose inches from my own.

I gasped for air and glared for all I was worth.

"I'm not going to let him take you. Got it?" He shoved his forearm roughly against my windpipe.

I made a sound I never thought I could make. I whimpered. _Whimpered. _

"I asked if you understood." He whispered and jerked his arm against my throat again.

Vaguely I nodded and then he released me and I slumped to the ground, grateful for the air. Never before have I ever been so acutely aware of how wonderful breathing was and how delicious air tasted. Within seconds Sakura was by my side fanning me.

Sasuke stood over us and looked down the length of his nose. "Hurry up." He muttered and started to adjust his jacket and shirt cuffs as if by simply touching me he could become working class. "I don't have all day."

**OOO**

All constructive and unconstructive criticism welcome.


	5. Chapter 5

Welcome to the Rich and Crazy

Chapter 5

"You people are all fucked up." I growled as I walked into the room massaging my throat. Sasuke sent me a warning glare but at this point I was beyond caring; since I came to this job I've been threatened, yelled at, been pulled into this yakuza bullshit, almost been killed, chocked by my damn boss and now someone wants to fucking _buy_ me? Forgive me if I'm not in a cheery mood.

Itachi raised an eyebrow at me but smiled. "You have balls. I like that."

I resisted the urge to flip him off and sat down in a chair on the opposite side of the room far away from Itachi and his equally crazy brother. The more I looked at them, Itachi, Sasuke and Sakura the more pissed off I became. Who are they to be deciding what to do with me? I'm my own fucking person and I can do and go wherever the hell I want!

"I quit." The words were out of my mouth before the thought even connected with my brain.

Sakura turned to look at me like I grew a second head. "What?"

Did I really just say that? Did I really just quit? Yes. Yes I did. "I. Quit." That sounded nice, like a soothing balm over a burn.

Sasuke stared at me without a trace of emotion on his face. "You can't."

I blinked. "What? Of course I can. I quit."

"No, you can't. You are under contract."

"I am not; I reserved the right to quit whe-"

Itachi glanced at his younger brother. "He doesn't know?"

Sasuke shook his head and sighed.

"Well tell him."

"Tell me what?" I looked between Sasuke and Itachi.

Sasuke sighed heavily and ran a hand down his face then up into his hair. "Your sister Temari wants me to invest in her company and provide some protection." He began and looked at me. "I've worked with her in the past on various…adventures but becoming partners brings things to a new level. I have to be able to trust her and ensure that she seeks my interest as well as her own. To ensure that she has the utmost faith and trust in me and my judgment she…loaned you to me."

I stared at him. Is he for real? Do people actually do that? Loaning another human being? _Seriously?! _

"You weren't bought Gaara simply loaned so that Temari can prove she will remain loyal to me." Sasuke carried on. "It's business."

"After hearing that and seeing the paperwork I'm afraid I can't take you to Japan." Itachi sighed, he sounded disappointed. "Shame. I could have turned you into a real butler, with gun and knife training." He shook his head as though someone just told him he couldn't have chocolate ice-cream anymore. "I know for a fact you won't learn any of that here."

That's fine with me, I-hang on! Temari's making money off of me! What the fuck?!

"You telling me my sister is making money off of me here?" I whispered, I swear my vision was turning red. That sneaky bitch! Of all the crap she's done in the past _this_ takes the whole damn cake!

"It's more complicated than that." Sasuke answered, much too casually like he dealt with slavery all the time. Bastard probably does on a weekly basis.

"Come now Gaara." Itachi patted me on the back. "It's only business."

"Fuck you." It was out my mouth before I even thought of saying it.

Itachi smiled. "Sorry, you're cute but I'm not gay."

I tried to punch him in the face.

I wanted to punch him in the face.

I wanted to knock him unconscious.

But he was the one doing the punching that landed in my face and I was the one doing the falling and blacking out.

**OOO**

"_Is he alright?"_

"_For the tenth time Temari the doctor said he's fine. Just unconscious." _

"_Don't talk to me like that Kankurou!" _

"_Oh shut up Tem, you're only worried that they won't want to work with you since he lunged at Itachi himself."_

"_Of course! I swear I thought Gaara had more sense than that…"_

"_We all know how he is…I don't even know why you thought you could use him like that." _

"_Oh fuck off Kankurou you do the same and you know it." _

"_I do not!" _

"_Yes you do! Taking him on all those trips, you think I don't know it's because you were terrified you'll be asked to remain there and run the company for awhile? And ha! The one time you don't take him is the time they ask!" _

"_What about you?" _

"_What about me?"_

"_The only reason you kicked him out-"_

"_We both did idiot." _

"_Don't call me an idiot, the only reason you insisted on having him out of the house was so he wouldn't find out your engagement." _

Wait a minute. Temari's engaged? To who?! What sane man would willingly marry her?! She's the fiery reincarnation of Satan himself! Who in their right minds would actually want to spend forever with that hell spawn?!

"_Oh you're engaged Temari? Congratulations." _Who the hell is that? Sounds familiar…

"_Itachi! Sorry, I-we didn't know you were here…" _

Itachi? What's he doing here the bastard. It's his fault I'm lying here in what I can only hope is a hospital and he has the audacity to show up?! Damn him!

"_Yes, well I felt bad seeing poor Gaara here had to be taken to the hospital. I'm told he's okay though." _

I should probably wake up. This man's fucking weird and I need to open my eyes before he thinks it's okay to start petting me like a fucking dog. That thought itself sent shivers down my spine.

"I'm fine." I croak, sounding like a frog. My eyes still refuse to open, why is that? Why can't I-wait. There's something on my face.

"Gaara!" Temari yelped right in my damn ear.

"Hey bro." Kankurou squeezed my shoulder. "How you feeling?"

"Why can't I open my fucking eyes?"

Nobody answered for a few seconds. "Gaara," Temari finger combed my hair. "When you…fell…"

"I was punched. In the face." I corrected, hey I may be in the hospital but I'm not stupid. Come on give me a little credit here.

She gouged her nails into my skull; it was her way of telling me to watch my mouth since we were in the presence of royalty. Or what _she _considered royalty. I considered him to be a asshole. "Yes, well when that happened you also hit your forehead on a wall and the cut was so close to your eyes they felt it safer to cover your eyes as well."

"But I'm not blind." Come on people; just confirm that my eyesight is fine will you?

It was Kankurou that came to the rescue. "No. Just probably scarred."

"Great." I layered on the sarcasm just to make sure they all got the picture.

Someone moved to the end of my bed. "I apologize for causing this." It was Itachi. "Gaara don't worry about paying the medical bills I'll take care of it."

"OH!" Temari obviously, gasped. "You don't have to do that Itachi; I'll take care of it but thank you for your kind offer." Her voice was sickeningly sweet and laced with the stench of ass-kissing. It made me sick.

"No no." I swear I could see that asshole smiling that winning smile of his. "This is entirely my fault. If I hadn't made that joke about Gaara here being gay and wanting to fuck me he wouldn't have lost his temper and I wouldn't have punched him. It's entirely my fault."

No one said anything. Well I suppose it is a bit unusual to hear so-

"Gaara you wanted to fuck Itachi?" Kankurou, my not so intelligent brother asked wearily; as if being gay was the worst thing in the world. Hey, what if I _was_ gay and into Itachi?! I'm _not_ but I could do worse than the Yakuza Boss! Hell that would be moving _up _in life!

"No! You idiot!" I snapped. For fucks sake haven't I been through enough without people questioning my sexuality? I wanted to hit him, I wanted to punch him in the face but considering the fact I couldn't see a damn thing I settled for sneering in his general direction and hoped he got the message.

"No no, he isn't. Really he isn't." Itachi defended me; something I really didn't think was possible. "In fact he and Sakura are dating." Why did he sound proud of that? Hang on that's a li-

"Who?" Temari asked. "Sakura? Have I ever met this woman Gaara?"

I decided to just go with it, I was becoming tired anyways. Who knew family and Crime Bosses were so exhausting to be around? "No, Temari you haven't."

"Who is she bro?"

"Sakura. Obviously."

Temari sneered. "Gaara."

"Short. Long pink hair. Loud. Annoying. Short. Bossy. Rich."

Kankurou snorted. "Sounds like a real catch man."

"Yup." I sighed. "One of a kind."

**OOO**

Needless to say I fell asleep to their talking, at one point Itachi patted my leg which was uncomfortable but then I fell asleep. When I woke up again it was quiet, most likely nighttime. In need of stretching I shifted and accidently set off an alarm so a nurse came rushing in.

"Are you okay Sir?" A young woman, if her voice was anything to go by, asked.

Wearily I sighed and tried to sit up. "Yeah, yeah sorry. Just woke up and…I'm…am I alone in here?"

Obviously this nurse thought I really hit my head hard because she started to speak very slowly. "No…Sir I'm also here…I'm a nurse and…"

"No no, I know you're here I meant if my brother or sister or some guy who looks like he owns the whole damn world are here or am I alone?" I waved hastily around, hoping that she got the picture.

"Oh." She breathed a sigh of relief. "No they all left while you were sleeping."

At that I relaxed back into the bed and nodded. "Good. What time is it?"

"Two in the morning. Is there anything I can get you? How do you feel?"

"Something to drink would be nice."

"No problem." She moved and opened the door. "Oh, a young woman was also here. I believe her name was Sakura. She said she will be back sometime tomorrow."

Oh shit Sakura? Jeeze will I ever get rid of her? Somehow I think the chances of that actually happening are getting smaller with each passing second.

"She's a nice girl you have there." The nurse continued on, honestly I thought she already left. "Very sweet and loving. You better hold onto her."

I didn't respond to that, it was kind of inappropriate. Who was she to go around giving warnings like that?

"You two look cute together, the way she was clutching your hand while you slept." Wait. What?! What the hell?!

"How long have you two been together-oh must be a long time right? There's something about you two…like you're so in sync with-oh jeeze look at me babbling on and on I'll go get that drink for you."

I nearly had a heart attack.

**OOO**

Lucky for me I spent the early morning alone; no visitors, no Sakura, no family, just the occasional nurse popping in to say 'hello' and marvel at how cute or handsome they thought me to be while offering to fetch me ice-cream, tea, or snacks. But seriously the ass-kissing was starting to get on my nerves.

My luck ran out later that morning when Temari showed up in her usual whirlwind of huffs, mutterings and fake concern. She chatted to the doctor about my health, inquired about sight and drug use; bought lunch for the staff and ordered some flowers for me but as soon as we were alone the she-devil emerged with a fire and brimstone.

"Gaara how can you be so stupid?!" She hissed, shutting the door.

Temari how can you be so selfish? _You_ sold _me_ to them in the first place! You used me! But I didn't say any of that, starting a fight with her would only exhaust me. "Temari leave me alone." I grumbled and tried to enjoy my cherry Jello. Have I explained how hard it is to eat without using your eyes? Yeah, it's pretty damn hard. You wouldn't think it would be because, well hell you've been eating all your life right? But let me tell you once you can't see shite you forget where your mouth is and aim everywhere but the hole in your face.

She huffed and dumped a stack of papers on my legs, which was uncalled for and I couldn't help thinking she did it as some sort of twisted revenge against me.

"Gaara really," She sighed and I could _feel _rolled her eyes. "Listen to me okay? You're going to apologize to Itachi for what you did, decline him paying your hospital bill and ask _politely _if you could keep working there."

I didn't say anything and apparently she decided to take my silence as an agreement and plowed on.

"Good. Hopefully you didn't screw things up too much and they'll still be willing to form a partnership with me…I can only hope." It sounded like she was pulling up a chair. "Okay so I have a few more things I want to fill you in on. Are you listening?"

Oh so now that I'm lying here injured she wants me in the loop? I see how it is. I tried to find my napkin on the roll cart to wipe the slime of Jello off my chin.

"I'm getting married Gaara. To Shikamaru, remember him? Tall, smart? Yes well we're getting married soon. Preparations are almost over." Temari, apparently growing annoyed with my lack of ability to clean myself suddenly started cleaning my face. "It'll be a winter wedding by the way. Hopefully if all goes well both the Uchiha brothers will attend. That will be nice."

"Hang on Shikamaru Nara? The guy's number you gave me?"

She shuffled or something before answering. "Yes. Him."

Well I'll be damned.

"Anyway Kankurou won't tell you this himself because he…well anyway he's moving to Germany for a year. The company transferred him and he couldn't say no which is just fine because the first year of marriage is always the hardest and well everything's working out. So far." She sighed and patted my leg sympathetically. "I know he wanted to tell you himself but…"

Kankurou is moving? To Germany? _WHAT?! _

I felt my throat start to close up at the thought of him moving so far away. Germany. _Germany_! Shit I'll never see him! Or talk to him! And he's the one I actually liked! What the hell man leaving me here all alone with psycho Temari! Damnit life's not fair!

"Just apologize and play nice and everything will be fine. Okay?" Temari tried to sound nice but it came out more like an order. "Have you actually eaten anything since being here? Shouldn't they have someone feed you since you can't see?"

I wanted to say something, _anything_ to get out of this, to just make it all go away but what could I say? I could barely remember to fucking breathe.

**OOO**

Temari left when Kankurou showed up, he brought pumpkin pie as some sort of peace offering or bribery or something of the sort. I don't know or care; but it tastes real good though.

"Thanks." I mumbled after a few clumsy bites; they still refused to take off the bandages claiming a few more hours of recuperation will be good. "I hear your moving to Germany."

He shuffled around for awhile, finding a chair before answering. "Yeah…sorry man I wanted to tell you but…"

"But?"

"But I want to take you. Really I do but then Temari got you involved with _them_ before I could make the arrangements and when I told her she…well things were already settled."

Of course they were. Because my life is crap like that. Shit hits the fan and I'm shoved in the direct path of it.

Kankurou fumbled with something before speaking again. "Listen…just be cool alright? Temari got you in this but you can't-" He sighed and paused. "Just go with it okay? These guys don't fuck around bro."

Once again the advice came a tad too late.

**OOO**

That afternoon after Kankurou left the doctor decided to remove the bandages and let me actually see since the lighting was dimmer and it would be easier on my eyes. Or some bullshit like that. Honestly I wasn't really listening I just wanted these things _off _my face.

All that concern was for nothing really because aside from the occasional blurry vision and horrible headache everything else seemed to be in working order. I really don't see why they couldn't hand me a bottle of Ibuprofen and send me on my merry way already. But no, _that_ would be too easy and they wanted to keep my ass here _another_ fucking night for observation. Observation my ass they just wanted more money.

That evening, late evening actually I'm pretty sure it was past visitation hours, much to my surprise Itachi paid me a visit.

"Hello Gaara." He breezed in holding a teddy bear with a card stuck between its paws. "I see the bandages have been removed. How is your eyesight? This is for you by the way." He placed the gift on my lap before strolling around the small room.

"Thanks." I grumbled bitterly. I wanted to say something snarky, or at least flip him the bird but it wasn't the best idea so I just sat there staring at the teddy bear.

"Of course. Have they been treating you alright here?"

Odd question but I'll bite. "Yeah. They're uh…real nice here."

"Good."

Itachi pulled the chair over to my bed and sat down, one leg crossed over the other. He stared at me for a few seconds before smiling. "I did some research on you Gaara and I couldn't help but notice you don't have any real goals in mind. But I like you, there's something unambiguously remarkable about you so I'm going to offer you a job. With pay, training, housing, and any and all expenses paid." He smiled warmly at me, as though he just gave me the keys to the entire world. "I would like you to become my right-hand man Gaara."

The only thing I could do was stare at this man sitting here at my hospital bedside smiling at me. Is this really happening? Is he fucking with me? My eyes narrowed fractionally at him.

"Sasuke use to be my right-hand." He continued on, oblivious to my disbelief. "But then he decided he wanted to run his own scene in America and left Japan. I've been looking for the right man to fill his shoes and I think you're the one I've been looking for."

I swallowed thickly and looked around the empty room before looking at him again. "Are you serious?"

"Of course." He nodded imperiously.

"Me? Be your right-hand man?"

Again he nodded. "If you take the job, immediately you will begin training and come back to Japan with me."

Move to Japan? Can I really do that? "What about my family?"

"What about them? Of course you will have access to my private jet, after a few months training obviously. When you learn to use the tools of my trade properly that is. Can't have you wandering the world without knowing what you're doing. Or were you asking about Sakura?" He raised an eyebrow at me and smiled mischievously. "I haven't told her about this. Though I imagine she too may suddenly decide to move back to Japan." He chuckled lightly.

Japan, Yakuza Boss, Right-Hand-Man, private jet, training…this is unbelievable.

"All you have to do is say yes."

How could I say no to an offer like that? "Yes."

**OOO**

Reviews are encouraged.

All constructive and unconstructive criticism welcome.


	6. Chapter 6

Welcome to the Rich and Crazy

Chapter 6

While Kankurou was shocked when I told him the news the next day, he didn't seem particularly angry at me though the hostility nearly crackled with life when Temari showed up. "This is your fault." He growled and stalked out of the hospital room.

"What's my fault _now_?" She sighed as she strolled over to where I was sitting near the window and took the chair opposite me, hanging her expensive coat on the back of her chair.

I eyed her and her finely tailored matching blue skirt and jacket complete with a pearl necklace and black heels. She had her hair tied back in a professional bun and her makeup was perfect, down to her red lips. Temari was in her stride; obviously she knew Itachi wasn't angry with me since he was visiting so all was right in her little world. Would she still feel the same when I told her about my new job?

"Gaara what is Kankurou on about now?" She demanded, crossing one leg over the other.

"He's not too happy that I now work for Itachi."

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly the two of you are something else. Gaara. My darling, simple little baby brother." She reached over and patted my arm sympathetically. "You work for _Sasuke_ not Itachi okay? Yes they are brothers but I work with _Sasuke. _Okay?"

Of course she'd think I'm just stupid. I felt the urge to speak in the same condescending tone to her just to piss her off, but before I could say anything the man himself walked in dressed in a black suit and coat.

"Gaara. Excellent." He purred and tossed the bundle he was holding onto my messy hospital bed.

"Morning Itachi." I greeted and watched Temari's face turn three different shades of red before standing up.

"Hello Itachi."

He nodded to her then refocused his attention on me. "I've just paid the bill you are free to go. Here." He pointed down at the bundle. "Put this on, it's a simple black suit."

All I did was raise an eyebrow and duck off to the bathroom to change, however the walls weren't exactly sound proof so I heard the following conversation between Itachi and my sister while I dressed. I could barely contain my excitement to see the look on her face, but honestly the bitch deserved every bit of evil Itachi decided to throw at her.

"_Itachi that is too kind of you, I told you I would pay. Let me pay you back."_

"_Nonsense." _

"_W-why not? He's my brother and he-"_

"_Hasn't he told you yet?" _It sounded like Itachi was walking around the room, most likely strolling the way he usually does.

"_Told me what?"_

"_That he works for me now."_

"…_Sorry?"_

"_Perhaps I didn't give him enough time to tell you. Obviously Kankurou knows if that dirty look he gave me on the way up here is any indication." _

"_Kankurou glared at you? Oh my I'm so sorry Itachi. I apologize on his behalf." _

"_Don't. I would feel the same if someone was taking my little brother away." _

"_Wait what?!"_

"_Oh yes. The news. Gaara works for me now, I will be taking care of him, training him and so forth." _It sounded like he pulled out a chair. _"Anything that regards him will go through me until he knows the rules of my trade." _

"_Ga…Ga…What?!"_

"_Yes." _I could see the wicked smile on Itachi's face in my mind's eye. _"He will be moving to Japan with me. I'm sorry that he couldn't tell you himself but we do have a flight to catch." _

"_He's leaving today?"_

"_Late this evening to be exact." _ It was then I emerged fully dressed from the bathroom to see Temari's red face staring at me. Itachi was sitting down at the small table his legs crossed at the ankle, he looked perfectly at ease.

Grinning I smoothed down the lapels and straightened my tie. "Itachi, thanks for the suit it…it's fucking amazing." I admired the bright red silk tie that looked very smart against the black shirt and black suit.

He nodded and smiled standing up. "Yes, you do look good in it. Well come on, grab your wallet and cell phone anything else we'll send the butler to fetch it." He walked to the door. "Are you coming Temari?"

**OOO**

I rather liked seeing this side of Temari, she was so angry and frustrated for once in her life she was _speechless._ There was nothing she could say and I loved every second of it. In the limo Itachi handed me a shotgun and a holster and showed me how to attach it to my belt which made her literally cringe in horror at her 'beloved, baby brother' rubbing elbows with the Yakuza Boss. The Big Honcho; the Boss of the Boss she's been chumming up to for years.

Oh yeah she hated every second of it but there was nothing she could do about it. I wanted to cackle in delight and rub her sore nose right in but acting mentally unstable in front of my new boss wouldn't have made the best impression on him so I settled for smiling smugly at her every once in awhile.

"We're going to pick up my little brother then leave for the airport." Itachi spoke as the black GMC pulled up to the front doors. "Knowing him it'll be awhile so you can go find that Naruto you like and let him know you're leaving."

**OOO**

I found Naruto in the rarely used library section dusting the untouched shelves. "Hey." I greeted as soon as I walked in.

"Holy shit man!" He laughed and picked me up in a bear hug. "What's with the monkey suit?!"

I shrugged and nervously tugged at the buttons, I never use to wear suits before so this was a change for me. "Well…you know-"

"How ya feeling? I heard you were in the hospital but I wasn't allowed to go visit you." He frowned and gave me the once over, apparently he recognized something because he suddenly paled. "No…no man no…don't tell me you're working for Itachi now…"

"How'd you guess?" I stared down at the suit and only then did I realize the jacket buttons were engraved with simple but elegant 'I.U's; Itachi Uchiha. His mark, his stamp, his property. "Oh…"

Naruto shook his head and sighed. "Gaara…why? This means you're going to Japan right? The _heart_ of the Yakuza?"

He sounded so disappointed in me I forgot how to speak so I nodded.

"Jeeze." He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head looking a lot like a stressed out father who just found out his son impregnated his girlfriend. "Why couldn't you stick with the lesser of two evils? Don't you get it-Sasuke is the better brother to work for! Itachi will _eat you alive_!" He hissed and began to pace. "Japan…Gaara can you even speak Japanese?"

Of course I speak Japanese! I live with _Temari_ for fucks sake! Well…I use to live w-

"I'm going to Japan too!" Sakura declared loudly, we heard her before the door even opened.

We both turned to see her throw open the double doors, a huge grin on her pink face, her long hair a wavy mess. But she looked happy, excited even.

Naruto frowned. "What? Just a few days ago you were saying how you would never go back." I too was wondering the same question.

"I want to be with Gaara!"

At that I paled. Why me? Why drag my name into this? _Again?_

"What?" Naruto glanced at me suspiciously. "_Why?" _

"I want to marry Gaara and have his babies." She beamed at me. I blinked and turned to Naruto and before I could say _anything,_ Naruto punched me.

Fucking hell he punched me!

"Fuck you!" I spat and nursed my stinging eye and stumbled back into one of the tables.

"Naruto! Why'd you punch him?" Sakura raced over and pulled my hand away from my face to inspect my eye. "Aw it looks like it hurts…"

"No shit it hurts!"

"Don't yell at her!"

"You _punched _me!"

"I know! _I_ was the one who did it!"

"Obviously it was my _face_ you hit!" I hissed in pain and dabbed my eye, checking for blood. Can my life be any more dramatic? First I was in the hospital because my old boss' brother knocked me unconscious now I got a black eye because my so called friend punched me. How fun.

"You can fuck up your own life but don't drag someone else with you!" He grabbed my jacket and hauled me closer to him. "That man is dangerous Gaara," He whispered, nose pushed right up against mine. "Fuckin' dangerous! Sa-"

"Naruto release Gaara now." Itachi's cool, collected voice ordered somewhere from the doorway.

Instantly I was released and fell to another messy heap on the ground with Sakura right beside me, once again fanning my face. This scenario seems oddly familiar.

"Someone get the doctor." Itachi ordered and walked over to me. "Can you get up?"

Cursing I stumbled to me feet, one hand clamped over my eye. "What the hell man?!" I glared at Naruto who looked even more pissed off than me. "I didn't tell her to come! I made me own fucking decision I didn't even _talk _to her!" Frustrated I glared at Sakura too. "Damnit woman stop getting me in trouble! How'd you even find out I'm going to Japan?"

"You really didn't-"

"No!" I cut Naruto off. "I only came to tell _you_ who I thought were my fucking _friend_ I'm leaving this damn country!"

At least he had the decency to look ashamed for jumping the gun and shrugged. "Oh shit…sorry man." He offered a smile. "Hey…at least now you get to leave looking badass right?"

I couldn't help but grin at that one. "Fuck you asshole."

Damnit, I might even miss the idiot.

**OOO**

The ride to the airport was slightly uncomfortable since we were all crammed into one GMC; me, Itachi, Sakura, Temari, and Sasuke. Naruto wasn't allowed to go for some unknown reason no one would tell me about. Kankurou decided he would drive his own car and I wished many times on that ride I took his offer to ride with him.

But eventually we all arrived at the crowded airport and happily I was the first one to launch myself out of that crowded contraption and right into Kankurou's back.

"Fucking hell!" He yelped then snorted. "You missing me already? Hey, offer still stands to come with me to Germany."

I grinned and straightened my tie and jacket. "Thanks but I want to give this a go. I think I'll do good."

"Gaara! What are you doing?" Sakura's voice asked, weirdly she sounded affronted.

"Sakura." Itachi spoke. "Leave him be. Get your handbag will you? It's still on the seat."

Kankurou glanced over my head then jerked his head inside. "Let's go, I want to at least talk to you before you go." So together we strolled inside in the general direction of the shopping strip; Itachi already said he'd take care of all that checking in crap. Plus he had my passport already. Don't ask how he got it, I don't know either.

"Seriously, I'm going to miss you Kankurou." I mumbled, face going red. Normally I would never say this out loud to him but this particular situation warrants honesty.

"I'm going to miss you too Gaara. A lot." He fished in his pocket and withdrew a brand new cell phone with the protective seal still on the screen. "I activated it on the way over here." He shoved it into my hand. "Don't let anyone know you've got this, I'll pay for everything okay? But just promise to call me, text me whatever. Just…everyday just let me know you're still alive man. That's all I want."

He was close to crying, and honestly so was I. Silently I slipped the phone into my pocket then shoved my hands in my pocket. "Yeah. No problem." I promised. And no, I wasn't crying. Men don't cry. Especially newly recruited Yakuza men.

**OOO**

Kankurou and I just wandered around for ten minutes talking about nothing and everything at the same time; really we were just enjoying each other's company because who knew when next we'd be able to? Eventually though I had to go back to Itachi.

"Bye Gaara. Remember to call." He pulled me into a bear hug and I squeezed back.

"Yeah, of course. Be prepared to pay one fat ass bill." I chuckled when he released me.

At that he laughed and nodded. "Yeah, just don't use that phone to call anyone but me. Got it? My numbers already in there."

I was so close to crying it was pathetic; this would be the first time in my life Kankurou wouldn't be there. My older brother wouldn't be able to come to my rescue and drag my ass out of shit if I screw up. I was just a little bit scared if I'm being honest.

"You should go."

"Yeah." We began walking back to the large group.

"Take Temari with you?"

He snorted. "Sorry no. She got you into this mess; she can find her own way home." He mumbled and jostled my shoulder as was slowly strolled back to them.

"She'll be clinging to Sasuke's shirt tails now."

"And calling me every damn day."

We were only a few feet from Itachi and his men and already Sasuke and Temari were glancing at us. "Guess this is goodbye." I wanted to hug him again but I knew that would just be plain stupid so I settled for a handshake.

"Goodbye Gaara." He clasped my hand for a few seconds before withdrawing and leaving.

That was the toughest goodbye in my life.

**OOO**

It took all of ten minutes before someone else was pulling me away from the group, but surprisingly it wasn't Temari.

"Gaara." Sasuke pulled me aside, away from everyone. He looked nervous. "Listen I need you to do something for me."

At that my eyebrows raised. "Sorry?"

"I don't trust Itachi. Yeah, he's my damn brother but he's-" Sasuke sighed. "Listen I just don't trust him alright?"

"Okay." I looked around, my eyes finally landing on Itachi standing casually near his luggage with one hand shoved neatly into his pant pocket the other holding a plastic paper cup which I'm fairly certain doesn't contain apple juice. "And I'm not overly fond of Temari. We done with this little sharing session?"

He glared at me, one hand sliding into the inner pocket of his jacket. "Funny. No, Sakura is going back with you and he and I will pay you one thousand American dollars a week to keep her safe. Got it?" He pulled a bulging envelope out of the pocket and discreetly held it up for me to see. "You keep her perfectly safe Gaara. I don't care what it takes for you to be close to her all the time-even if you have to date her. Got it?"

I stared at the envelope. One thousand dollars a week for babysitting that pink haired menace.

"What's the catch?" I was quickly learning there was always a string attached when these guys hung around.

Sasuke glanced over his shoulder before looking back at me. "I just don't want that bastard getting involved with her in any way." He locked eyes with me and worked his jaw. "I don't normally give a rat's ass who Sakura decides to pine over because it's hardly worth my time. _However_ she seems to have really fallen for your ass and is trailing after you like a puppy…Itachi is a very smart, very manipulative man Gaara." He paused. "And he takes pleasure in making girls cry but he likes you and wouldn't do anything to make _you_ unhappy." He leveled his gaze with me. "If you make yourself known with Sakura he will not even glance at her."

Fucking hell this guys paying me to date Sakura so his brother wouldn't mess with her? Crap…my heads starting to hurt.

"What do you say? One thousand dollars a week. I can have a secret bank account set up and wire the money to you every Monday." He held the envelope out to me. "Do we have a deal?"

A deal with Sasuke, Itachi's younger brother. Should I do it? My loyalty is to Itachi, the man who's bought me an entire wardrobe of suits, ties, shoes and sunglasses; the man who's giving me a life I never dreamed of. I'm being groomed to be his right hand man. How can I betray him like that?

"Gaara!" I looked up to see Sakura waving at me, an annoyed expression on her face. "Hurry up, we're to board soon!"

"Here." Sasuke pressed the envelope into my hand. "Think about it."

"Sas-"

"_Think about it_." He hissed and withdrew a card from his wallet and tucked it into my still open hand. "Call me when you make your decision." And then he left with a brisk wave to his brother and a nod at Sakura who jumped at my side the second he was gone.

**OOO**

The plane ride gave me a headache even though we flew private and I sat opposite Itachi who spent the entire time reading a worn out copy of _A Book In Every Home._ No, it was Sakura who gave me the headache with her constant running commentary on the magazine she was reading and where she was going to drag me when we reached Japan.

It went on for an entire thirty minutes until Itachi finally decided to say something. "Sakura." He spoke without looking up from his pocket edition. "Will you kindly be quiet? I believe you've given Gaara here a headache and I'm trying to enjoy my book." Then he casually turned the last page.

But it worked; she shut her mouth and quietly read her magazine leaving me in blissful silence.

"Would you like a painkiller?" Itachi asked politely as he waved over the stewardess. "Get him an Advil and I'll take a watered-downed vodka."

For the rest of the quiet plan ride I couldn't get Sasuke's offer off of my mind, the envelope and his card was safely tucked inside my inner jacket pocket beside Kankurou's phone but I couldn't shake the feeling that by just having it on me I was already failing Itachi somehow.

But was I really? Sakura was interested in me, everyone and their mother knew it; she was constantly at my side whether Itachi liked it or not-most of the time he seemed mildly amused-and always exerting her bitchy ways on the men surrounding us. Telling them what to do, how to do it, and firing them. Of course they were never _really_ fired, that right was reserved for Itachi. And me eventually. Or so he said.

Essentially if I say yes I'll just be doing what I'm doing now, tolerating Sakura by my side and just making sure she keeps out of Itachi's way. But if it's so easy, then why am I so worried about saying yes?

**OOO**

Japan was weird to say the least. We arrived at one am and were very quickly shoved into yet another car and drove through eerily quiet back streets before finally pulling up to a large house. There we were ushered into the house and gathered into a lounge where a fireplace was lit.

"Welcome to your new home Gaara." Itachi smiled as someone handed him two glasses filled with what I suspect is Whiskey. "A toast?" He handed me one of the glasses.

"A toast." I agreed.

"To new beginnings." He held up his glasses and I did the same. "And new friends."

**OOO**

I slept soundly that night despite the fears of a new country, new language and new house. I kept Kankurou's phone and the money Sasuke gave me under my pillow, knowing I would need to find a better hiding spot soon.

Unexpectedly I woke up early, around six in the morning; so I sat there on my new bed in my new room just staring out the open window. The view was amazing, from here I could see the tops of the mountains, smell the fresh air and right outside my window was a tree. Feeling a bit sentimental I pulled Kankurou's phone out from under the pillow and sent him a text.

_Hey Kankurou. It's morning here. What's up? Got a fucking amazing view man, you'd be jealous. _

I snapped a picture of the view, which didn't do it any justice and sent it to him. 

Well as long as I'm up I might as well get ready.

**OOO**

Sakura was waiting for me the second I stepped out of my bedroom fully dressed in a dark blue suit and black tie. "Morning." She chirped, wearing black tights and a simple pink dress. "How'd you sleep? My room is right there." She pointed down the hall, suggesting I should have come and sought her out.

Before I could say anything Sasuke's words came back to haunt me: _Keep her safe…one thousand dollars…_

Is it really betraying Itachi if I do it? All I would be doing is dating her right? And getting paid for it. Keeping her safe is a good thing, plus she is easy on the eyes. Okay. I'll do it. I'll call Sasuke later and tell him yes.

"I slept just fine thanks for asking. How about you?" I asked politely and held out my arm to escort her to what I presume is breakfast.

Sakura almost squealed in excitement and took my arm. "Wonderful! Just wonderful Gaara."

**OOO**

Who would have thought loser me would end up working for Itachi Uchiha, the big time Yakuza boss? And that I'll be dating Sakura Haruno and get paid by Sasuke Uchiha to make sure she keeps her nose out of trouble?

Yeah, take that Temari. You got me into this mess for your own gain but I'm the one on top now. Life, is good.

Welcome to the Rich and Crazy ~ End 

Reviews would be nice if you want to leave one.

All constructive and unconstructive criticism welcome.


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